I have been absent from this world for a while. I am preparing to leave Missouri and head to Illinois for a year on a vicarage assignment. I am hoping through the nest year I will be more faithful in corresponding what is transpiring in Staunton through this medium.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Chapter the Eleventh and a Half: Well...

Since there have been no responses, either no one is reading or no one wants to answer, which is fine...I have the option of letting my last entry hang dead or finishing the thought myself, and since I am who I am, I am going to finish the thought, hence the half in the title.

It was not supposed to be like this, it was not supposed to end the way it ends or begin the way it begins. There was a time when all on this Earth was pure and holy and we as a people accepted everything from God with thankful hearts because we had no choice in the matter. This is not supposed to be the way it is. My friends are not supposed to fall away from faith and enter into relationships that hinder rahter than build. My friend is not supposed to be fallen in battle, nor my great uncle pass away from cancer nor family and friends divorce. This is not the way it was supposed to be. At one time we knew not anger or hunger, threats or curses, death...We knew only life and love, praise and adoration. We did not know how to put someone down, or not see inner beauty, we did not know how to be arrogant or boastful unless of course it was in proportion to our faith. I am sure this sounds like a cop-out method of explaining why things happen, "Oh it was not supposed to be this way so it is alright." Well yeah kinda only with less sarcasm added.
Now it is this way though, and we are stuck holding the conviction of our sin in our hands, on our hearts and headds. We are left with the hammer and nails in OUR hands, with the blood on OUR hands and clothing, it is OUR fault it is the way it is. We are the pickers, we are the eaters. Not forced, not threatened, but led like sheep to enter into the greatest deception this world has ever seen, "I do not exist," whispers the demon that surses our flesh. "I am not here," says the imp that is the son of the morning. The great illusion this world is caught in by its own accord. What a great irony we live in. We are the cause of our own death, the one thing that we are trying to extend year by year and drug by drug, treatment by treatment, when a simple "No thanks" was all we needed. "No thanks, we are not supposed to because we were told, that is good enought for us." Where is the hope in this thought, in this passing paragraph? There is none and nor is there supposed to be, this is what we have to face, we are hopeless beings, cursed to this earth once created in perfection and now cursed by us, the very beings created in it, OF it, to inhabit and live in it, is it not Iraonic do you not think...?
The hope comes in this,
Joe Manar was a mountain of a man, tall and filled out, gentle as a kitten and stronger than an ox. He lived in a west Texas town and ran a little business. He had a wife and two sons, both of whom played football for the local high school. One night his oldest son, John, was coming home from a football game late on a Friday night. His buddy Max drove him because John just did not feel like driving. They drove the 8 miles out of town to John's home and pulled into the drive, a few hundred yards to the homestead and then right into the front yard next to Joe's truck, because there was no cement parking space. Max climbed out of the driver's side door while John was collecting his gear. Max was stoped, dead on his feet by the blinding beam of a spot-light, the sound of a loading shot gun, and the questions, "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" Max could have died without a shot being fired, and he struggled as hours went by it seemed even to get his mouth open through the chattering of his teeth and the pain shooting up from his stomach through his head and down his back. Again the questions were asked, "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" Max thought an answer was quickly needed or his life on this earth would be over quickly. In the minute or less all of this had taken place, John has finally, to the thankful heart of Max, collect his belongings, exited the car and yelled, "DAD! It's alright it's me John and this here is my buddy Max, you know Max, we were just getting back from the game." The sopt light went off and the gun went away and Joe yelled back, "Yall come on in here, there is food on in the fridge drinks there too, I'll be in the living room watching the news, yall have fun." "Thanks Dad!" John yelled back. (Memoirs of Max Lucado)
So is it for all who have entered, and so shall it be for all who believe. We will stand at the gates, in the presence of our Maker, God our Father, and He will ask, "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" And we will have no grounds to answer, no backbone to shout forth, we will be helpless and childlike in that moment. We will realize our worthlessness, and then a hand on our shoulder we will feel, and from behind us the whole time, we will here, "Dad it's alright, He/She is with me!" Open arms we will then see from our Father through his Son who claims us, that is our hope, that is our truth. This world was not supposed to be this way. What a treasure we have in these words...

Just Going,


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Chapter the Eleventh: The Reason I stay away from Deep Topics on Blogs

There is just too much danger in getting into deep topics. Eventually something I say or write always gets taken as an offense. Do I think that people are all immature and cannot handle good logical well thought out discussion? No. But I do think that some of them cannot. So by the rules of Irony, which I will ennact upon myself I will now enter the first deep entry of this blog and see where it leads...

When I was in St. Paul with all of you, I got to watch Joel Osteen give an interview on Larry King Live about the success of the church he serves in, the biggest church in the U.S. He was asked a question that all people in church work or even related to a church will get asked at some point in their life. Someone will ask, "why did this happen to this person if there is a loving God?" Or some variation of the like.

Well good ole' Joel got asked by a woman why her sister or friend was stricken with cancer and died, could he (Joel) shed sme light on to why this happened? Joel of course answered "No, I can't answer that," and successfully dance around the question. At that point I turned the channel a little mad that the leader of the biggest church in the U.S. could not, or more to the point would not answer that question on a public stage. Yes it is an intimate answer to give someone and perhaps there was too much at risk for his image, or church, or whatever to give the answer to a national audience but I still feel a answer was needed other than, "I can't answer that." If there ever was a time to share the gospel that was it, and to a congregation bigger than any other in the world.

What would be your answer to the question that was asked to Joel? Why do good things happen to bad people, or why does someone get cancer or aids, or even pass away unexpectedly if the believe in God or if there is a loving God up there?

Friday, July 22, 2005

Chapter the Tenth: Let Us Try This Again...

Two posts ago I believe I tried to get all the readers involved in something, well what happened was either the result of only one person reading any entry on my site, or no one understood what they needed to do. This is an idea from a good friend of mine and I applied it to a prayer, but this time we shall apply it the way he used it, in the form of a story...

Here is what you, the reader, get to do if you so choose. You get to add your own little chunk of a story, keeping it clean and appropriate to my blog and I reserve the right to delete anything I feel is not appropriate. I will start it off and we will go as long as we can, this is your chance to be creative, so do it. Here we go...

"Why is it so dark?" Eddie could not get his eyes open. "Why is this so hard, get open." He was trying to get his right eye open, straining like a salmon swimming up stream and that cannot get up that portion of river. "Wait, why are my eyes closed to begin with?" Eddie had been working on the 1979 El Camino SS that his Uncle had left in their back yard when he had gone to Texas for his last, "Great Opportunity." He was right in the middle of pulling off the carbeurator he thought it was a little gummy because the engine was not getting the gas it should. He had removed the third screw in a series of five and placed the screw on his tool cart to his right, then turned back to the project, and right in the middle of his turn, the lights went out...

OK go for it, let your creative juices run wild and build the story off of what is there...

Just going...

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Chapter the Ninth: My father the Kitchen Nazi?

It seems ridiculous for me to say, but why do men see the need to control certain aspects of their daily lives that are really in a Uncontrolable area. Last night my Dad, the great cook, pretty much banned everyone from the kitchen because he needed to relax while cooking dinner. The way he did it though was so absolutly un cool and un caring that it pissed the rest of the house off. I do not know a lot about anything in particular but I do know this, no man is strong enough to put up with one pissed off woman I do not know how he expected things to go with three, and me on the top as icing. So what did my mother and sisters decide, we were going to go out to eat, but without my dad knowing. So we left, said bye and everything, and Dad just spaced out in the kitchen really did not realize until I recieved a call on my phone asking, "Where are yall?"
I explained and he got mad, hung up, and then unloaded on all of us when we got home, we pretty much told him to go to bed because he was throwing a temper tantrum and we did not want to see it or hear it, which mad him even more mad, but when it is 4 to 1 who can argue.

My weekend went very well, other than shooting 4 strokes higher on 18 holes than I did last time. It was good to get up into the mountain air and work, not to have to worry about what time to get up or anything of that nature. Wonderful.

It is on the calendar, July 31st I am having a huge Shin-Dig at my place and everyone is invited. There will be Food, Beverages including Oat and Barley Soda, and lots of conversation and perhaps a spontaneous round of golf later in the afternoon. So come one come all to my house for fun in the Colorado Sun.


Keep Going

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Chapter the Eighth: Out for the Weekend

The week has come and gone so fill me up with one more drink, Bartender Hook me Up, come on Hook Me Up.

I am out for the weekend and I encourage all of you to do the same, get out of your home and treat this weekend like the fourth of July. Drag your parents and family along with you and get mad at each other, laugh, hug, maybe cry, but do it all before you wish you had.

I am heading up to the mountains for Golf, Camp Fires, Fishing, Beer, Cigars, more Golf and some sleep in between everything (the campfires last a good long time though).

Peace to everyone getting rained on after Dennis and pray for everyone in the path of Emily, that might be the worst storm to hit a coast in a while. My prayers go out to all of you for all of you and the struggles you have in your lives at this point, and praises for all the same people for the joys of this Earth truly do out weigh the struggles. Go and hug someone today that looks like they need one and when they ask, "What was that for?" Tell them that is it all for the Love.

Your hand has carved the mountains and the heart of Man,
Your breathe has covered the world and filled my lungs,
Your steps have laid a path that your Son made me able to walk,
Your Love has filled the Oceans and Rivers that I swim in,
Lord my God Carve me, Cover me, lay your path before me, fill me, and...

(This will be a continuing Prayer, I would love it if everyone that reads this entry adds their own little paragraph or Paragraphs to this prayer, say what is on your heart and your mind and know that you are praying it with the body of Christ)

Just going

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Chapter the Seventh: Fleeting Time

Has anyone else realized, I am sure you have. What did you think when you came to the realization, "Hey 30 more days of Americana before I am thrust into a whole new way of life." Ther eis just something that makes me a little anxious not to be here. Maybe it is the New Real world that has me depressed, or is it that Burrito I just ate I do not know. I am ready to see life in this culture in a way only a person from the outside can. I do not expect this to happen right as I set foot in Taiwan, Poof now I am totally un-Americanized, no not exactly. But there is a great deal of wisdom and knowledge that I and we can take back with us after a year to share.
What will be the one greatest lesson that any of us learn from what we are about to endure? Who can say, only God, and because of his love and great sense of Humor we get to find out for ourselves.

Dear God,

Open my eyes, open my heart, and open my mind to what you have to show me. Help my pride to be broken like a cheap wine glass and your love to fortify me like Steel. Galvenize my spirit with your Spirit. Let me shine like a candle in the dark. Let my mouth be silent so that your will may be communicated, let my actions be still so that your will may be shown, I love you Lord for you will never abandon your servant, so make me just that.

Peace to all of you in this time of life, I hope you are having the time of it.

Just go...

Monday, July 11, 2005

Chapter the Sixth: The Dance Goes On...

Hello, Hello, Hello...Is there any body in here?

Again Pensacola gets rained on by Mother Nature. The biggest decision I have now is whether or not to get in a car and drive the 30+ hours to help with the efforts, again. Last time was much easier because there was no drive, I was already there. If there is anyone that can think of anything they can do, this is the list:
  1. Go yourself, get there and help where ever they need it, and while doing so, bring the Cross.
  2. Take a collection up at your church, and do not send it to Thrivent for mathcing funds, send it straight to a church or organization in an area that you want to help.
  3. Pray
  4. Try and find a way to get gas, chainsaws, water, etc. there.

Those are some of the things that anyone can do. Peace.

Keep Going.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Chapter the Fifth: If you do not like what you are doing, go and do something else.

These are perhaps the most profound words I have ever heard in any song. Words that are very sinple but seem to be overlooked by so many people in the world today. And perhaps they are not overlooked, but more to the point looked at and then stepped over or pushed aside.
I have friends that graduated high school with me that did not go on to College, and are now living a life of one track monotony. Wake up, Work, Bed, over and over; not to say that routine does not work for anyone, but what about when that middle section is the source of a down trodden heart and attitude? If you do not like what you are doing there has to be something out there that you like, go and do it. Simple Simple instructions that anyone can live by. Perhaps the very theme of mission trips, and mission work for some people...Perhaps.
I think it is a little different theme, if you love what you are doing and who you are doing it for, here go do this. That might be a little more accurate for some of us. If you love what you are doing and you know that the only way you are doing it is by the power of the Holy Spirit and those two other beautiful beings of the Trinity, they say here Good and Faithful Servant, go into this world that we have created and bring the people the news of Me and Us. If you know with your heart and confess with your mouth the we are the "I AM" go out and walk the path that we have prepared for you and remember ME always on your journey, praise ME always (the best thing about speaking about the Trinity is that you can go back and forth between personal and plural pro nouns). What is the theme of your journey, I can guess for some of you it still has selfish roots as it once did and still in many cases does for me. Whatever it is, Semper Theos, Semper Fi, Always God and Always Forward.
Just Going...

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Chapter the Fourth:but on the Fifth or Fif

I feel like writing in a larger font to make me feel like what I am saying has more implact on the lives of the reader, But alas it is annoying me already.
Ok much better. Wait...
Trabuchet sucks and this is not much better.
Ok there we go, much easier to read...

The topic of this entry is to allow all of my faithful and not so faithful readers to have a little more insight into my life, not a deep insight, but a friends insight. I think we can all agree that a friends insight and an intimate relations insight will be different into the same person they are insighting.
Anyway lists are the best way for me to let you know what I like or do not like.

Top Five all Time Favorite Movies: In no Particular Order

  • Real Genius
  • Cool Hand Luke
  • Ben Hur
  • Supper Troopers/Office Space
  • High Fidelity
Top Five All Time Favorite Records or CD's: Again in no particular order
  • Rage Against the Machine: The Batter of Los Angeles
  • Lyle Lovett: Lyle Lovett
  • Green Day: Kerplunk
  • Any Pink Floyd LP: Especially Dark Side of the Moon
  • Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds: Live at Luther College
Top Five all time Annoyances:
  • People that make quotation marks with their Hands
  • Written Contractions, as in don't or aren't, come on, are not and do not are just as easy...
  • When my socks go missing with the help of my sisters
  • People who talk like they are informed but actually are not, and you know it.
  • Cuts on the roof of your mouth after eating a bowl of Captain Crunch.
That is good for now.

Just Going

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Chapter the Third: When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong

There are strange moments in life when you do things to draw people into a conversation, hoping that they will be attuned to what you have to say by snappy title or tag line. And in the words of a certain southern iliterate person, "but alas" there is none such conversation here.
What I can offer is a little insight, like being John Malkovic, only being Sam Beltz...kovic. If you looked through y eyes and saw my hands they would be cut up and sore, why? The 180 feet of new, 4 strand, horse proof fencing plus 2 gates, stringing fence with your hands is probably the least pain free method of doing it, "but alas" there were no other ways.
If you moved from my hands past my wrist to my forearms you would see them sleek and tan. Crispt by the suns rays of the friscilating sunlight. Alright this is a little ridiculous, I need a beer. Lets start again...
If you looked at my hands you would see an old school Budweiser glass pithcer filled with about 4 Rolling Rock, that is much better. Who gives a crap about the rest. Hmm for some reason that seems a little too frat boyish. Ok one more time...I feel like we should be transitioning like Wayne and Garth back and forth between closing scenes, Diddly Doo Diddly Doo Diddly Doo...

When you look in my hands you will see nothing, they are not filled with anything nor do they have any power, when you look at my arms, legs, and feet, they are equally worthless. There is nothing in this body of use, unless...
Pray with my if you will: Father in Heaven give me a reason to use these hands. Fill them with nothing more than love, and the touch to prove it. Father use these arms. Give me the strength to be weak. Father use these legs. Let me carry you to the ends of the Earth. Father use these feet. May they never be tired of walking. God before me to guide me, Behind me to protect me, Beside me to Befriend me, Above me to watch over me, Below me to support me, and Inside me to Inspire me. Amen

Just Going...Is anyone ever "just" doing anything?